Like 'Weakness' this is also a fanfiction heavily based on Knights of the Old Republic.
'Goodbye' takes place after the game concludes, however. This piece is not as far along the path of completion as 'Weakness', but I hope you can find some appreciation for it none-the-less.
Revan examined the battle worn hull of the Ebon Hawk, allowing himself a brief cheerless smile. The battered freighter had been good to him; he hoped it would hold up in the times to come. Of course, he could always do any needed repairs himself…
He sighed heavily, as rain poured down around him, encasing him in a blanket of fog. Lush ferns were barely visible in the distant, soft calls of various species drifted on the still air. Revan grunted as a realization dawned on him. The shadowy, frigid weather grasping and suffocating all light, hope, and happiness, immensely reflected his personality. He marched forward with angry defiance evident in his stride and inspected the turret of the Hawk.
Cold as the rain was, his heavy armor kept the chill from leeching the warmth from his body. He had grown so accustomed to the full body suit it almost seemed to be a part of him now; he could not imagine himself without it. If the suit was a part of him, then perhaps the Jedi’s view of it being the symbol of all evil was not entirely misleading… His face contorted into a grimace. “Thinking like a Jedi.” He scoffed inwardly.
A sudden jolt of shock violently ravaged through his entire body, it was not his own. He frowned; she had awakened prematurely. Stomach knotting, he let his arms drop limply to his sides. She would come to him. Despite the pain this would, and was already, going to cause him, he could not bring himself to regret not leaving sooner. He knew he couldn’t have. He needed to say goodbye. He needed her.
“Revan?” Her beautiful accented voice called from behind him. He already felt the waves of hesitation rolling off her, very similar to a hurricane. Bowing his head briefly, forcing himself to keep his composure, he turned to her.
“Bastila,” He replied, tone still stained with the detached annoyance it had always carried. Immediately upon meeting her eyes, he felt as if he were a stone in the rain past its time to belong in nature, weathering away with the storm. Force, she was beautiful. His eyes slowly examined her in an, overly practiced, routine pattern. Her luxurious brown hair already matted from the rain, her body was so graceful. Always carrying herself with pride… and arrogance, he mused. Returning his composed gaze to her eyes, his resolve shattered as he saw the pain, the worry, and the love, in her eyes. The only woman capable of loving the unlovable in the universe, and she was his.
And I’m about to throw that all away. A growl reverberated softly within his chest, silencing his out of line thoughts.
“Leaving.” It was not a question, her voice sounded strained, overly controlled. Revan visibly stiffened.
“I’m just out for an early morning stroll.” His voice laced with sarcasm, and ever so slightly, with the Force, using it to calm the waves of distress crashing off her. Seeing the annoyance flare through her body, he desired to correct himself. He still wanted her to be happy with him, even though this was the last time - “I have to.” He grunted, purposefully cutting off his train of thought. Thankfully, his voice had decided to cooperate with him, sounding calm, unemotional, unlike the turmoil raging within him. Bastila had come to accept the odd tones of his voice, knowing how to read the true signs of his body language. Signs that, if examined long enough, and close enough, hinted at the man beneath the mask.
“I know.” She whispered simply, lowering her gaze to her drenched feet. Watching the gentle drops of rain splash to ground somehow caused Bastila to momentarily lose her strength. Tears began to leak from the corners of her stunning gray eyes. With a gloved hand, Revan gently wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. She lifted her eyes and glared at where Revan’s emerald irises would be blazing beneath the mask, a silent signal for him to cooperate.
Raising her hands with deliberate slowness, she tucked her elegant fingers beneath the sides of his mask. It came off easily and, with little care, she dropped it to the cement beneath them. Revan did not seem to mind; he continued to hold very still, never taking his vigilant eyes off hers. Bastila’s hands returned to his face, pulling the black facemask protecting his features down to his neck. She bit her trembling lip, holding back tears as she traced the thin scar along the edge of his right eye before placing her fingertips against his lips.
Revan’s breath caught in his throat. Force! She knew exactly what to do, whether it was intentional or not. Images flashed vibrantly though his mind of the first time she had accidentally brushed her lips against the bloodied skin of his cheek. He closed his vibrant emerald eyes. Must not show weakness; must be strong for her.
“I love you.” Revan gripped her hand in his own, squeezing it gently. “I love you.” She repeated again, shaking her head softly as the tears began to run. Her mind raced, she wanted to repeat the words endlessly, hoping that somehow, someway – anyway- they would convince him to stay. Soft, inaudible sobs began to flood through her frozen body.
Placing his right hand on the back of her neck, Revan slowly drew her closer as he lowered her trembling hand from his lip.
“Shh,” The soft growl immediately had some effect on stilling her trembling form, but the stream of tears continued to flow. Thunder groaned in the distance, distracting him for a brief moment, then rain began to shower relentlessly.
Undisturbed by the sudden intensity of the weather, Revan placed his mouth near her crimson ear. Scowling at this, he gently forced a quick wave of heat through her body. Inhaling deeply, he forced himself to do this calmly. Seeing him break down will not help the matter any.
“Bastila,” he kissed her temple softly, lingering there for some time before continuing. “I love you, you know this. I will always love you, while I have no doubt that I will soon be forgotten and rarely concern your thoughts.” Revan smiled sadly, knowing he was already attempting to convince himself that she would move on, that he was not going to harm her for long. Bastila opened her mouth to protest, but he quickly placed his hand over her full lips. “That is why I must leave, to protect you. To save you from darkness that will strip you of your innocence.” He pulled back to gaze into her eyes, which were blazing with sudden defiance.
“Stay, wait for them to come here! We will protect the Republic side by side, together.” She demanded, but Revan could pick up the true pleading, the suffering behind her words. Strange, he reflected. Once, long ago, the Republic had been the most important thing to him. But now… everything had changed. He only softly shook his head.
“No, I will not allow you to be scarred by this. I already have been, it will have much less affect on me.” He grasped both her hands in his larger paws. She was looking away from him, visibly attempting to control her emotions. “Look at me,” he growled. She slowly complied, slight fear coursing through her - a very outdated custom that seemed to have resurfaced. “I made a promise to protect you.” Flashes of Rhen Var flickered through Revan’s mind. “You have saved my life many a time, now I will do the same for you.” He stood up straighter. “I will never allow you to come to harm.” The resolve in his words was nearly frightening.
“Please,” Bastila could think of no other word, incoherent images muddled her thoughts. “Please.” Her knees were beginning to crumple. Revan suddenly pulled her into a passionate kiss. Bastila began to tremble, both from the cold and from the contrasting fiery sensation running through every vein in her body from the feeling of his lips against hers. It never ceased to astonish her how truly amazing this man was.
A Jedi, finding comfort in the arms of the Dark Lord of the Sith. How strangely the universe worked.
Pulling away slightly, he kissed the bridge of her nose. “Goodbye, my love.” He readjusted the facemask, keeping his eyes upon hers. He plucked the mask from the ground; the very mask that held all his secrets, and would now hide his identity. Placing it over his face, he bowed slightly at the waist to Bastila. He stared silently at her as she wept before dragging his fingertips across her cheek. She gripped his hand, holding on to it as long as possible before he stepped out of reach.
Never to come back.
---
The Ebon Hawk had long left Bastila’s home planet of Talravin. With this knowledge, Revan now allowed himself to break. Violent trembling shook him to the core, his stomach heaved and tears barreled down his face. Grim irony made a terrible, empty smile flitter across his features. “The ones I love always died, or left.” The words echoed through his mind, screaming violently at him.
Now he was doing both.
To the one he loved most.
To the one he had promised no harm would come to, but knew, deep within his tainted soul, that promise now lay shattered and empty at his feet.
Just like all the others.
---
